Stylist Tom Stubbs on ditching the bow tie this festive season—and what to wear alternatively

Black tie, that essential marker of an increasingly rarefied ceremonial style, is inspiring. Nothing coaxes men into upping the sartorial ante quite like reading those words on an invitation. I say amen to raising the bar, but I can’t bear wearing a traditional bow tie—and haven’t done so for over a decade.

Around the turn of the millennium, I was enthusiastically dress-code obedient, but two unstoppable forces put me off: Fashion moved on, and I got old. Where abiding by hallowed traditions once felt exalted, it suddenly began to seem restrictive and stuffy. And while it was extraordinary to be a bow-tied 30-something, in my 40s, the convention made me feel like a pompous, conservative square. Now, menswear has changed so much that bow ties register as pedestrian garb better suited to waiters than to revellers.

Fortunately, there are several black-tie alternatives that excite and inspire me now that I’m well into my 50s—many espoused by stylish guys on the red carpet and innovative designers in London, Paris, Florence, and Milan. And though I might take a bow on nonconformism as I step into my 60s, I still plan to steer clear of the bow tie, that ultimate symbol of gentlemanly customs, for as long as I can. Here’s what I’m replacing it with.

Form and function

I got excited seeing Lemaire’s slim metallic modernized bolo ties in the house’s fall 2024 show. A favorite of men as varied as Johnny Cash, Bruce Springsteen, and Snoop Dogg, the bolo is perhaps best remembered as the chosen neckwear of John Travolta’s surly hit man, Vincent, in Pulp Fiction. Originally, Native American tribes including the Zuni, Hopi, and Navajo used these accessories used to fasten bandannas with plaited-leather cords. High-end versions double as a bit of jewelry, with silver slides set with turquoise and often engraved with animal motifs, including buffalo skulls and eagles. Contemporary takes abound, but vintage sleuthing can turn up some particularly beguiling options.

Gambling man

Varying in size, flounce, and attitude, ribbon ties—also called gambler or Kentucky neckties—have long been a legitimate black-tie alternative. Actor Cillian Murphy has worn Saint Laurent’s take to various award shows, looking stand-alone chic and authentically cool. They have a distinct Western energy—Kirk Douglas donned one as Doc Holliday in Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, as did Robert Vaughan in The Magnificent Seven. But they’re as much rock star as they are gunslinger: The late Johnny Thunders of the New York Dolls and Bauhaus front man Peter Murphy (style role models of mine) also wore them with panache. Take a note from the runway and wear them with a pair of boots—cowboy, Chelsea, or with a Cuban heel—to really step away from the standard.

Fit to be tied

If you want to give yourself some breathing room, consider scarves and neckerchiefs. This fall, Tom Ford proposed a louche take on evening style, using black, slim-plaited, or delicately sequined scarves whose long tassels provocatively dangle at the hips. For maximum effect, the brand styled them with open satin shirts, recalling rockers Mick Jagger and Rod Stewart. London’s La Bowtique also does beautiful outsize bows. On a smaller scale, the Twilly—a short silk scarf pioneered by Hermès—works in much the same manner. The French Maison makes gorgeous options with angled ends for extra verve, whether hanging loose or more discreetly knotted.

This story was first published on Robb Report USA. Featured photo by Vinnie Zuffante/Getty Images/Jon Gorrigan